If It Looks Like a Trash Can, It's A Freaking Trash Can

Here’s the thing that’s been so weird for me so far with wrestling - the line between fact and fiction is really, really blurred. It’s so blurred, that wrestling has its own term for events/stories/personas that are fake but portrayed as real. This is known as kayfabe. Kayfabe in general (and the whole crazy wrestling world lexicon) will certainly be discussed more on this blog, but I’m currently focused on one specific aspect of it.

Injuries.

There are two important things to remember about professional wrestling:

1. It’s a dramatic story.
2. It involves very real and very intense feats of athleticism. 

Wrestling absolutely qualifies as a sport according to both the Google definition (an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment) and my personal definition as determined during college (an activity wherein it is possible for your nipples to bleed). Like any sport, injuries are possible. Unlike other sports, injuries are frequently faked.

I’m going to pull back for a minute and remind my charming audience that I am new to professional wrestling and still have very limited exposure, so forgive me (and let me know) if I say something that seems completely off the wall. But in my short time it seems to me that wrestling, at least when viewed by the general public, has the-boy-who-cried-wolf syndrome. ALL injuries are thought to be fake because they so often ARE fake. 

Yes, that's a real trash can that was crushed by sudden head impact.

Whether or not the injury is real or fake probably doesn’t matter to you personally when it’s some rando on the screen. This got super real though to me and family/friends as soon as Rob got in the ring. His first match ended with an injury, which meant I was getting flooded with texts asking “is he okay?” “was that real?” “is he actually hurt?” etc.

Rob loves the idea of kayfabe. He wants to preserve the story. So that jerk let us all stew for QUITE AWHILE in our worried state.

Initially, I figured he was fine. This was mainly because even before Rob started wrestling training, he started practicing fake injuries at home. I had been preconditioned by MONTHS of him writhing in agony but actually being totally fine. Then, he wouldn’t respond, and as more and more people reiterated to me just how bad it looked when he took the final hit, I started to doubt myself.

Luckily in this particular case, he was in fact fine. Unluckily, it now seems like many of these other observers have adopted the “oh it’s fake” mindframe in regards to injuries.

Meanwhile the more he wrestles the more maddening becomes the knowledge that although they are exaggerating/faking a lot of injuries every match, at the same exact time the wrestlers are downplaying/hiding all the real pain they’re dealing with. Because it’s an intense sport you have all the typical bad/sore knee/ankle/shoulder whatnot going on. Because it’s wrestling, you also have them hitting each other with REAL trash cans/kendo sticks/chairs on a fairly regular basis.

I’ve watched like all of 4-5 live matches so far and there has been to my knowledge at least 2 real injuries already. Probably more. While wrestlers are quick to play up kayfabe they’re a freaking tight-lipped group on everything else.

I think what this all boils down to is that if you come up to me and try in any way to downplay the very real toll wrestling is taking on my boyfriend’s body, I will be forced to hit you with one of those “fake” chairs they use and see how your butt deals with it.

I am bad at pictures and lighting, but there are at least 4 bruised areas here.